Russian around town

Saturday was a huge day. We joined in on one of the biggest yearly festivals in Tokyo, in Asakusa. It reminded me of an outdoor Asian version of the Old City in Jerusalem, where there are walking corridors of pushy people browsing and shopping. The shopping was fruitful, I have tons of trinkets and bullshit toys for everyone! You know you want one, don't deny the junk of Japan :) But seriously, I found a cool knife maker shop thinger ma-jinger. Got some cool Japan originals and the keepers sat on the floor in front of you and sharpened the knives right there before you take them home. HOT! As for food, well it's festie food, for the US that is hot dogs, churros, snowcones, pretzels w/mustard, and some random ethnic foods. For Japan, festie foods are like squid bits or entire baby squids in a ball of cheesy like dough topped with fish flakes and served in a box of 6. Like you would ever eat 6 of these things...but um, yeah, who am I to judge? It was...different. (come back for pictures later tonight) Well after dropping a few hundred dollars, tens of thousands of Yens, and purchasing my first kimono, we took our bags, broken feet, gummy residue in our teeth from the squid back to the hotel to meet the Russian. Karpeisky arrived at 7pm, half asleep, ready to roll. And it had begun...

Wow

Wow...

Focus on Japan

Enough of the banter :) It's time for more Japanese phrases!

Table messes - (really ends with a 'u', like 'mesu') Would you like to eat?
No me messes - (ditto) Would you like to drink?

Chew toe - little
Oh key - big

Airy "Gato" - (the 'gato' is spanish for 'cat') Thank You
don't touch my moustache - You're welcome

Come itch my what? - Hello!
Mooshy Mooshy - Hello!... only on the phone

Tonight we were supposed to meet my friend and lawyer, Alex. But our jet-lagged asses were crashed out taking a nap until 8:30pm. Doh! Instead, we took Alex's advice and ate at an Izakaya restaraunt (it's a name of a chain) then accidentally walked into the red light district. (remember, this is a clean blog :)
After that we stumbled upon a hair salon. What's that saying?..."When in Rome..." I'm a Hoppa, I need to get my haircut in Asia! So I have Japanese bangs now. Sweet.

Sigh Re-Know-Ra

Busted!

OK, I'm busted. Not just in the chest, as so many people love to comment on... including me. See example # 2222 to the right. Um... yeah, like you missed that one. Anyway...

I was busted today, two times over. (again not a boob reference, really)

1. Dr. Bad Scott was a little perturbed about my last entry, not mad mind you, but he had this response to say about my dissing on Japanese character tattoos,

"All i have to say krackoff is my string of japanese characters has brought much happiness to all those in close proximity. It's so short that according to your translation everyone gets to “ride this ride". I wouldn’t have it any other way... I am an equal opportunity ride. Besides, it also doubles as a glass table. Meow meow.

P.S.- you know you have a snow flake tattoo btw, I mean its no dolphin on your ankle but seriously… ;)"

And this is why I love my BFF.

Hey Scott, if you did actually tattoo the phrase it would be long enough to actually reject a girl here or there. It would read, "この乗車に乗るために高いこれでなければならない"

Now that is a long torso!

2. Seth busted me on my lack of knowledge of asian characters in my last entry. According to him I sampled Chinese characters not Japanese characters. His comment can be read in my last entry and says that my Hoppa/Halfie status is now lower. I'm hardly ashamed, because even though Vietnamese is in Asia and rhymes with Chinese and Japanese, the Viets do not use any hieroglyph or asian swishes for writing. Vietnamese is written in Latin letters with more of a French influence. I understand egrets and accent agues more than I do any asian character. Also, just for your knowledge, "自動的" means "automatic". I copied it from some text that currently shows up in my blog edit page, since Blogger sees my IP in Japan all the text are in asian swish blah blah and now I know some of the text is actually Chinese not only Japanese. We learn!

OK. I know none of you read any of that because you are still staring at my boobs. I WIN!

Love you Scott and Seth!

Another Japanese Character

What is up with those stupid tattoos anyway? Sorry, Scott... 自動的...
Just because it's Japanese doesn't mean it's cool, and really doesn't mean you should tattoo it on your body. Although, I still love what I came up with as the translation for the Japanese character tattoo that Dr. Bad Scott has running up the left side of his torso, "Ah, you must be this tall to ride this ride."

Anyway, the real character in Japan has now arrived, Tien!! (That's my sis) She is passed-the-fuck-out due to the long flight from Washington, DC. It's 6:42pm and I'm starrrrrrrrved. What do you say on the count of 3 we wake her ass up... 1, 22222222222....

More Japanese Phrases

Here's a funny story...

crickets....

My brain has finally caved. So tired of the over-working and over-playing. After 5 successful trainings yesterday, this teacher is going to take a break. Done. (do you hear the crickets? Can you tell I'm running slower than a slug?) Never you mind that it's 9:45am on a work day. I did my 12 hours yesterday, 5am - 5pm.

A few fellow Tubers took me out last night to show me the town, drink and be merry. Went to a very traditional restaurant where your legs burn from keeping them crossed. I sat in the place of honor and was served much beer and sake... yum. I asked the group what are good tongue twisters in Japanese, you know like, "Sally sold seashells by the seashore". That really got them going. It was fun watching them spittle their way through some "kika kaku kabuki ka" sayings.

New phrases:
"So. so. so. so." = yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
"yoish, ish, ish" = for shizzle my nizzle (it's slang that one co-worker says a lot)

and when we ask someone who speaks Japanese "What time is it now?" it translates to something stupid like, "You got that digged potato?"
So when you ask the time, try not to add the "now" at the end, and you may actually get the time.

crickets.

Japan, the anti-stress therapy

Prepping for my Japan visit has been super stressful. I was freaking for 2 weeks about all the trainings that I have to lead here, 17 trainings to be exact over the course of 8 business days. The first day was supposed to be "easy" with 1 training introduction with many of the Japan Sales, Biz Dev, Legal, and Ad Ops members... cake. But due to scheduling conflicts 4 trainings were moved up to the first day post-jet-lag. And, yes you guessed it, I was sweating bullets trying to prep all the presentations...SWEATING. So, last weekend I did the logically thing and drank myself to oblivion. A day in the sun drinking Medjool rooftop style was a good cure, then dancing the night away at an underground party sounded up my stressful alley, leaving Sunday for a solid day of burning brain cells, partying at a BBQ, and having friends over for Karaoke until 11pm.

It's OK, I'm a professional. If there is anything I know how to do it is work hard and play hard.

So, yeah.. today... it's 4pm Tokyo time and I finished my 5 trainings early. They went swimmingly. The Japanese are always so agreeable so much so that anything I say brings a smile! Which is the complete 180 from my Israel trips and 100% pleasant. So yes, again it's 4pm on a workday and I have decided to take my break and write in this blog, share a moment, and let you know that Japan is a great anti-stress therapy.

Now it's time to drink!

Oh and I have learned a couple Japanese phrases:
"Height, so this knee!" - Yes I agree (or something like that)
and
"Don't touch my moustache" - You are welcome

Say them fast and with force, they will understand you.

Fuck has it really been 1.5 years?

I wrote this 8 Months after my 2006 entry and never posted it. – Israel, A Day at the Massada and the Dead Sea

Hey there. I’ve been royally slacking on keeping my blog up-to-date. There are several reasons why, but I’m sure you don’t want to hear any of my excuses. I do have to say that I’m in a much happier place in my life and writing is something I enjoy. And since you are taking the time to read this, I’ll try to remember to write as much as possible.

In the past 8 months I’ve had a handful of friends tell me that they actually check back to my blog looking for more information. I’m flattered, thanks y’all! Also…I’m going to Israel…again. I leave in a couple of weeks and I thought it best to finish my first trip so I can write about the second trip. OK…here goes…let’s see how fried my brain cells are…

Oct 21, 2006 – Sat

Today we had a new tour guide, whats-his-name. He was much more aware of what his clients needed. For example, he let us buy water before we started our day…unlike Jaime, who enjoyed seeing us suffer. Funny thing was that whats-his-name turns out to be Jaime’s cousin. They don’t talk much, but I could see that. Anyway….

Whats-his-name has a new gold Jeep Cherokee with leather seats. Which means he was making a shit ton of money. It’ll cost you a handful to get a private guide for a day, but well worth it… especially if you get what-his-name. So, remember we are in Jerusalem and today we are going to the Massada and to the Dead Sea. Yum! But to get there we have to drive through the West Bank, Rocket Country. It’s a desert, a very large and rarely inhabited desert.

On the side of the road you can see sheep herders living among their sheep under the scorching sun. Suddenly, I felt like we were back in Jesus’ time. We stop to took look over a cliff and really soak in how vast the desert is. There is even a real live Oasis, really! I wasn’t tripping and I was fully air conditioned from the car. Here’s a short video clip as we stood on the border of Samaria and Judea, notice no rockets today.

Then we traveled along the West side of the Dead Sea south to the Massada. We stopped at the Ahava factory. It’s heaven for a girl and a girl with a lot of girlfriends. I had to buy some stock in the store and got a box full of products to take home. The lotions and products are made from the minerals in the Dead Sea, hence the location and the yummy girly shit.

Once we get to the Massada it’s high noon. I thanked the-god-you-believe-in that it’s NOT summer and our tour guide had proper hats for us to wear. Manly because James and I had our hearts set on climbing the Massada. We are a few brave souls. The first 200 yards isn’t bad, you are just walking along from the building to towards the perpendicular ascent. As you are doing this tortuous event, the tram to carry those lazy folk goes up/comes down and taunts you with it’s humming of mechanics. Bitches. Of course my “athletic” asthma kicks in during the ascent. There are switchback stairs up the mountain, and halfway up I have to stop at every turn to catch my breath and suck on my inhaler. I don’t think I would have survived if James wasn’t there. James became my true BFF. When I stopped he stopped, and he gave me some confidence to be able to climb this beast. The final 50 yards is the worst. You can’t even see where the torture ends and every turn you think you are at the top. And that fucking tram, that tram is just laughing at you! At the top, I collapse on the cold slabs of Jerusalem brick inside a cave-like walkway. I’m sweating more than ever, and left a puddle under my stone bench… yum. Water is free up top, just bring a container. If you climb the Massada, listen to all the advice… CLIMB BEFORE SUNRISE! First of all you won’t die, you don’t have to listen to that fucking tram, and you supposedly see the most amazing sunrise on top of the Massada.

The Massada is amazing. It’s amazing that anyone would be so desperate to live on top of this plateau! The story is out of this world. I won’t get into all the details as I’m not a historian. But clearly Herod the King was nuts, a megalomaniac, desperate, and brilliant. Scared of the Romans, he found a perfect location to house over 900 of his people. The Massada is next to the Dead Sea, of which is the only standing water and is absolutely un-drinkable. There is no vegetation and desert all around. The ascent is 450 Meters straight up. So what does Herod do? Not only does he figure out a way to divert mountain rain water into large cisterns to save once a year for the entire year, he also makes two large (10’x10’) rooms for a hot bath and sauna. Yes, it took lots of water and burning wood. All of which are worlds away from the Massada. This was all built, enjoyed, and destroyed over a span of (can’t remember 9-20) years…. (told you I’m not a historian). So when the Romans came, Herod’s peeps rolled rocks on the Romans as they tried to climb the Massada. After many futile tries the Romans got smart and decided to simply hammer out a section of a nearby mountain and rebuild a mountain that leads up to the Massada gate… like a handicap ramp. Once Herod realized his doom, him and

his peeps committed suicide and only 5 people were found al

ive by the Romans.

(Holy stories Leggo style. This picture was not meant to represent what I’m sharing with you)

----today is 5/11/08--- I need to finish this day so I can go on with more entries. So no more fancy links or pictures just a description of one of the most bizarre events I have ever experienced.

The Dead Sea is one very good reason to go to Israel. At the banks, the beach is grey mud where you can bounce on it, sink in to your hips, roll around in it, and rub it all over body. The mud is supposed to keep you youthful and your skin super yum. As you enter the sea the water is full of minerals making it somewhat gelatinous with mineral rocks on the sea floor mix in the mud. So you can imagine walking into the sea is similar to walking in jello made on top of nails. And as you go deeper you might find from black mud, which is more precious than the grey since the location is hard to get to… and it’s better? Anyway the hot young Israelis work hard to get to the black mud and smear it all over their body, and frown upon the grey mud people. Now imagine really hot chics with black tits and drinks in hand try to walk out of the sea towards you… the whole picture with them, other people rolling in grey mud, others floating on water on their backs, some fat dude walking and falling in the sea, and mud patties held in peoples hands… it’s like a scene from a zombie movie. Awesome.

I have to run, I think I have that syndrome from visiting Jerusalem… I heard this is what happens when you leave.

Next trip is Japan, for work, tomorrow…. And I have to write about that!